Where did "LIsby" go?
You always hear about perfectly normal people going in for a check up and then finding out a few days later that they have a tumor or cancer. This has always been on of those things that I've had a HUGE fear of, and always thought I would be one of those people, but praying that it would never happen.
A few years ago I started to show some very unusual symptoms in my everyday behavior. At first I was diagnosed with mono, but it never really went away. I tried to push it out of my mind, but this past school year has been really horrible. Some of my symptoms have gotten so bad that I'm just NOT myself, I'm not the Lisby that everyone knows, I'm not healthy. Of corse my first thought was cancer...BUT it's not. at least most likly, I guess there's always that possiblity, but so far we don't know ANYTHING. I've gone in for blood tests, and I've talked to doctors and naturapaths about my symptoms and everything.
Basically it's really hard on me. I don't know what I have, and I don't know how long it will take until I DO know. I have to explain that I just can't physically do anything. I wasn't able to play soccer this year, the first time sinse first grade, and I'm having to drop out of the Shakespeare play, the one I've been looking forward to for about three years now, because I just can't do it. I don't have enough energy to have as much fun as I used to have, and to be as crazy as most know me as. Sometimes I'll come home from school and just sleep, not really able to focus until I do. I can't just STOP going to school, I can't just NOT work, I can't just STOP hanging out with people.
People, friends, laughter; it's what keeps me going, so it scares me to think that everyday I'm getting less and less of that due to lack of energy. It's hard having to change the way i act, function, talk, move, feel, live life. I can't be the person that I used to be, because I don't have enough energy, I don't have enough energy to be ME! How does that work? I don't understand, and I can't explain that to anyone.
I guess I'm just waiting for them to tell me what's up with me, but that may take weeks, months, years...I just don't know, and that is hard. That is very hard for me. Very very hard.
For now, I'm trying to get as much sleep as I can, and smile as often as I can, and laugh as much as possible. I'm trying not to let this effect me, but I'm finding it to be almost impossible. I'll keep praying, and trusting that this is good for me, and there is obvesly a reason for this, but I'm not going to pretend it's easy, after all, if it was, I wouldn't be writing this. Thank you for your prayers.
Peace Friends.
A few years ago I started to show some very unusual symptoms in my everyday behavior. At first I was diagnosed with mono, but it never really went away. I tried to push it out of my mind, but this past school year has been really horrible. Some of my symptoms have gotten so bad that I'm just NOT myself, I'm not the Lisby that everyone knows, I'm not healthy. Of corse my first thought was cancer...BUT it's not. at least most likly, I guess there's always that possiblity, but so far we don't know ANYTHING. I've gone in for blood tests, and I've talked to doctors and naturapaths about my symptoms and everything.
Basically it's really hard on me. I don't know what I have, and I don't know how long it will take until I DO know. I have to explain that I just can't physically do anything. I wasn't able to play soccer this year, the first time sinse first grade, and I'm having to drop out of the Shakespeare play, the one I've been looking forward to for about three years now, because I just can't do it. I don't have enough energy to have as much fun as I used to have, and to be as crazy as most know me as. Sometimes I'll come home from school and just sleep, not really able to focus until I do. I can't just STOP going to school, I can't just NOT work, I can't just STOP hanging out with people.
People, friends, laughter; it's what keeps me going, so it scares me to think that everyday I'm getting less and less of that due to lack of energy. It's hard having to change the way i act, function, talk, move, feel, live life. I can't be the person that I used to be, because I don't have enough energy, I don't have enough energy to be ME! How does that work? I don't understand, and I can't explain that to anyone.
I guess I'm just waiting for them to tell me what's up with me, but that may take weeks, months, years...I just don't know, and that is hard. That is very hard for me. Very very hard.
For now, I'm trying to get as much sleep as I can, and smile as often as I can, and laugh as much as possible. I'm trying not to let this effect me, but I'm finding it to be almost impossible. I'll keep praying, and trusting that this is good for me, and there is obvesly a reason for this, but I'm not going to pretend it's easy, after all, if it was, I wouldn't be writing this. Thank you for your prayers.
Peace Friends.
posted by Elizbeth at 6:43 PM
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