Goodbye Isn't Forever...

I just had to say goodbye to one of my best friends. He's going back to Colombia, and it might be FOREVER. He was an exchange student for a year, I don't know if I'll ever see him again. We hope to meet up again, but you neve know, never-the-less we always say that "Goodbye isn't forever, it's just see you later." I hope we are right.



I'm gonna miss him...

Baby It's Cold Outside

Christmas comes but onece a year, and it is well worth the wait every year. My favorite weather is Oregon in Christmas time, with the clear crisp breath that you get everytime you breath in. When you wake up to white frost all over the ground, it looks like someone painted a picture during the night. There is special music, traditional movies, and everyone has a smile on their face.
I love waking up with my nose freezing cold, jumping out of bed, and running to the living room to get in front of the fire and get warm. Christmas is when you get to wear red santa hats and warm scarves, drink apple cider and hot chocolet, make cookies, and it's the only time that your house smells like the tree that stands in the corner. Everything is always lit up, including the faces of those that we love.
Christmas always brings back memories of childhood, with my family. When my big brother and I were close we use to get all of our Christmas ornaments out and play with them. We had a big box that we kept our ornaments in, that was santa's shop, there was an owl, he was the school teacher. There were elves, lots of elves; small and fat, long and lean, short and fast, tall and slow, girls that were mean, and boys that were lazy, you name it, we had it. We would play with them for hours at a time, drinking hot chocolet and listening to our favorite Christmas albums.
These are all of the reasons that I just love Christmas. But I was thinking about it more and more, and I realized that I don't like it for the TRUE reasons as much as I want to. When I think Christmas I don't think about Jesus, I think about all the wonderful things that are materialistic and limited. I want it to be more about Jesus, and I'm not talking about mary in a blue scarve on a donky, a stare, wise men, etc. I'm talking about Jesus, God, my savior. I'm talking about my relationship, and my life, and how it should always be focused on him, and they aren't as much as I need.
These are things that get me fired up about life, and motivate me to find a way to make Christmas truly about God, and make it so that is the first thing I think about. Not because that's what they told me in sunday school, or what I saw on a billboard, but because that is what I want, what I and need, what I will figure out.
Christmas comes but once a year, and I'm glad that God comes but all year round.

Pessimist comes out

I've decided that I'm changing my entire outlook on LIFE. Yes yes I know that sounds drastic, but don't worry, it's a good change.
I've noticed that, lately, I've been looking at almost everything from a pessimistic point of view, always finding negitive, and always putting everything down, or making it totally boaring. Some of you will say that this is a total lie, because I don't always act so negitve, but when I do it's just awful, and I don't want to be that person anymore.
From now on I'm going to try and find the positive in everything i do, including school, and being sick, and tired. Including all those people that just piss me OFF, I'm going to try somthing new and just be positive, outside AND IN!
I think that I can be very positive with certain situations and certain people, but i have these pockets that I get into and it's is awful, I look at everything negitivly and I HATE IT! I mean it's awsome....NO no I'm not going to be positive about being negitive, that just doesn't make sense.

A little reminder

Sometimes I miss people, and sometimes I feel like I can't function without hanging out with those people. I'm not talking about 'boys', I'm talking about friends, fun people that give me energy by just being around and making fools of ourselves. I've found that I can rely on these people TOO much, and that I need to learn how to be happy by myself, I shouldn't count on others to do it for me. I'm not saying that my friends shouldn't make me happy, and that I shouldn't want to hang out with them, but I get too attached and don't want to do anything but hang out. I don't know, I just need to learn how to entertain myself. I love my friends, and I couldn't live without them, they are deffinantly a gift from God.

On that note; sometimes I feel like I couldn't go on with out these wonderful people in my life. People who just help out when I need it the most, they help without realizing it, it's wonderful, and I love you all.

I'm learning that Life can be painful, and confusing, annoying, and long, and I'm only in high school and learning this. It hurts, and it's not easy, I guess no one really ever said it would be.
If you were wondering how I was doing today I would say JUST FINE, yeah life is hard, but I have people in it who support me and who i support, and i love this relationship.
Peace Friends.